September 29, 2006
Steve: Ladies...looking for a table? Billie: Actually, we were just leaving. Steve: Oh. Billie: Yeah. This isn't exactly my mom's cup of tea -- this place. Chelsea: You're Stephanie Johnson's dad, aren't you? Steve: Yeah. You a friend of hers? Chelsea: No. Not exactly. Steve: Oh. Billie: Oh, uh, excuse me. Steve, this my daughter, Chelsea. Steve: Oh, yeah. Nice to meet you. Chelsea: You, too. Billie: And, uh, you remember my mom, Kate? Steve: Oh, yeah, yeah. The smoking-hot mama -- I can't forget her. Kate: Yeah. Billie: Okay. Well, we got to go. See you later. Kate: Honey! Don't be so rude. I mean, Chelsea said they have the best meat in town here. You don't want to pass on that, do you? Steve: So, uh, Billie, I haven't seen you around the Cheatin' Heart lately. As a matter of fact, I haven't seen you around anywhere. I've been all over this burg looking for work, and I have not seen you. Where you been keeping yourself? Billie: No place you'd go. Steve: Really? Try me. Billie: Well, I've -- I've been spending a lot of time at home lately. Being a single mother keeps me very busy. Steve: Well, that's cool. But, you know, you don't seem like the typical domestic type. Billie: Laughs It runs in the family. Steve: That's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure you have plenty of other talents to spend your time and energy on. Kate: She sure does. Billie: Mother! Kate: What? Billie: My mom has this very bad habit of interfering in her adult children’s affairs. Kate: Or lack thereof. Billie: So, does this mean you're finally giving up on me and Bo? Kate: Well, if you have, of course I have, darling. Billie: Oh, you're right! Hey, Chelsea, do me a favor. Don't take relationship advice from Grandma Kate 'cause you've been in enough trouble already. Steve: Ooh. Listen to your mama. Kate: Chelsea, darling, your napkin in your lap. Sorry. I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything. Billie: Oh, yes, you would. Steve: What's the matter? You afraid she's gonna corrupt her with some manners? Billie: No, worse -- control her. Steve: Maybe she's just trying to be a loving grandma. Billie: Maybe I'm a virgin. Kate: Honey, I am not trying to overtake your daughter's life. I'm just trying to groom her a little bit. Billie: Well, why don't you get a dog? Hey, a pit bull would be nice. Kate: Honey, someone needs to teach her how to get to the top. Chelsea: And stay there. Kate: That's right. Billie: How about her mother? Kate: Someone with experience. Chelsea: You got to admit it, Mom -- when it comes to success, Grandma Kate is an expert. Billie: That depends on your definition. Steve: Whoa, whoa, ladies. Everybody back to their corners. Chelsea: For real. You guys are acting like this some kind of boxing match or something. Kate: No, we both just want what's best for you. Billie: Only one of us knows what that is. Steve: Ding, ding, ding. Ready for round 2. Chelsea: Okay. I got to go. Steve: You got a date? Chelsea: No. I'm just hanging out with some friends. Billie: Don't be too late, okay? Chelsea: Yeah, yeah. Kate: I'll walk you out, sweetheart. Steve: No dessert? Kate: No. I'm gonna leave dessert to you and Billie take care, sweetie. Nice seeing you. Steve: Good to see you, too. Billie: Mothers. Steve: So, what do you say? Are you interested in dessert? Waitress: Enjoy. Steve: Mmm. I plan to. Billie: Like love Devil's food cake. It's so good and yet so bad. Steve: One of my favorite combinations. Mmm. Hey. Why'd you stop? Billie: Not hungry. Steve: Oh, come on. If you're worried about putting on a couple of pounds, don't be. You look good to me. Billie: Steve, I told you, we can't do this. Steve: You got something against getting together with me? Billie: No. I like you...a lot. Steve: All right. I like me, too. Common ground. Now we're getting somewhere. Billie: No, we're getting nowhere. Steve: Oh, come on. What is it, baby? Hey. Sniffs Oh, yeah, I showered, I flossed, I did mouthwash -- the whole thing. Billie: Steve... Steve: What? Billie: The way you look at me. Steve: What way is that? Billie: Like I'm the only woman in the room. Steve: Well, I do that because you are. Billie: Really? Steve: Absolutely. Billie: And what about Kayla? Steve: She's not in the room. Billie: What if she was? Steve: Well, I would do what I plan to do the next time I see Billie: And what's that? Steve: Ask her for a divorce. Billie: Hold -- hold on here. Somehow we just went from you propositioning me to divorcing your wife. Steve: Yeah. Billie: Okay, well, call me crazy, but I think we missed a few steps here. Steve: Well, you're not interested in adultery, are you? Billie: No. Breaking up marriages is not on my top-10 list. It took me a while, but I learned my lesson. Steve: Well, don't worry. You're not the reason I decided to end things with Kayla. Billie: You're serious? Steve: Yeah, I'm serious. Billie: Well, hold on. I-I understand that you've lost big chunks of your memory and you don't remember Kayla, but don't you think you should try hypnosis or -- or therapy? Steve: Baby, I've been on more couches than I care to count. Billie: How can you be so cool about this? You're about to throw your life away -- a life that most people would kill for. Steve: It's not my life. It belongs to a guy named Steve Johnson who I don't even know. Look... I've woken up with my share of strangers, and I know that I sure as hell don't want to be married to one...or to a life that I don't even remember. Billie: Why me? Steve: Why you? I don’t know you feel, uh... familiar. Look... I just think we're two people looking to connect -- that's all. Billie: That's all, huh? Steve: Yeah. Simple. So, Billie... what are we gonna do? Category:2006